Becoming an Adult: Twenty-One Things I wish I’d known.

Before I begin, let’s address the elephant in the room. You’ll notice there is a slight contradiction here relating to my previous post on adulting. My previous statement still applies. I still categorise myself as a kidult. However, that doesn’t mean I haven’t learned things that I think others deserve to know. Surely I can’t be the only one who felt slightly irked by the fact no one gives you the heads up on just how tough being an adult really is?!

Don’t get me wrong, growing up my parents would say things like, “make the most of your school days, because they’re the best of your life” and “what are you crying for, because I’ll give you something to cry about.” And “you think you’ve got it tough now? Wait until you grow up.” Each of these statements will be different for each of you reading, but I know for me, they mostly ring true. I should also point out I have incredibly loving and supportive parents who have had my back for the past thirty-three years, and that isn’t changing anytime soon.

Here are twenty-one things that I wish someone had told me about becoming an adult. Buckle up. We’ve got some insights to gain!
Disclaimer: I started out with ten, but the more I wrote, the more I realised I had more to share, plus in the olden days, twenty-one was the age you got the keys to your house, and were therefore considered an adult. Thus, twenty-one feels appropriate.

1. Life will be hard. Like really hard. To the point you’ll wonder why no one warned you about it. Well I’m warning you now. And everything is so expensive.
2. You’ll feel like you have no idea what you’re doing. Guess what… the majority of people around you have no idea what they are doing either. Fake it until you make it. Added bonus, confidence is key.
3. Coffee is currency. If you want to learn something, or want to hear about someone’s experience, especially if it’s around an industry or job you’re interested in. Offer a coffee in exchange for their time. I guarantee you, that nine times out of ten, they’ll say yes.
4. Make connections with people. I hate to call it networking because it sounds too yuck. Seriously, make connections with people and be the person people want to work with. You don’t need special skills. You need kindness, organisation and timekeeping. You show up, you come prepared, and you’ll be the person people want to work with. Every job across my ten year plus career has been because I’ve known someone. It also helps that I’m good at what I do, but it helps to have connections.
5. Learn to communicate. Communicating your feelings to others, especially in a relationship can be so hard. You’ll try to pre-empt what your partner, colleague, friend, is thinking and feeling. Most of the time, you’ll be wrong. Work towards creating time and space to check in with each other. When relationship needs aren’t being met, have that conversation. Things can’t be fixed, if both parties don’t acknowledge a fix is needed.
6. Your kitchen will never stay tidy for long. It will become the bane of your existence.
7. You’ll go from seeing your group of friends all the time, on a whim, every week, to having to really make time well in advance. If you’re lucky like me, you’ll manage three to four times a year when you can all get together. But the time will be even more special. Savour every moment of it.
8. That thing you want? Save money for it. If there is something you want, don’t be fooled by the monthly payments if you can avoid it. I’ve been there and done that. Those monthly payments for all those things mount up quickly. Then you’re skint and you’re stressed.
9. Compound Interest!! I’m not going to go into too much in this blog, but save as much money as you can when you can and get it into a high interest saving account. You’ll be amazed at how much interest you can build up over time. Invest in your future. I know I sound like an old folkie but seriously!! Try to save. There are plenty YouTube videos out there that can help you for the moment. I repeat, compund interest. Learn about it.
10. If you want to buy a birthday cake and eat it, without it being someone’s birthday, you can. No one will stop you. Same goes for chocolate for breakfast.
11. If something in your life isn’t working, you have the power to change it. Even if that’s scary. You are the only one that can make things happen for you. You have to be accountable for all of you actions as they all have consequences, both good and bad. Don’t blame other people when something is your fault. Take ownership and you’ll be respected all the more for it.
12. Find something you love doing and make time for it no matter what. Life will get stressful. You’ll work a lot, you’ll (maybe) have a social life, you’ll have financial responsibility. All that can be tough when you have to give, give, give all the time. So, find that thing you love. It will often be the thing that keeps you sane.
13. People are human, people make mistakes, and you’ll realise your parents are no exception. Mistakes will happen, but it’s how you behave after them. Learn from them.
14. Be curious and keep learning. I’m not saying necessarily in an official way like going to college or university, although that’s absolutely an option for you. I’m saying read a book about something, watch YouTube videos, sign up for a seminar, explore a new skill. There is so much free knowledge out there on everything, why not make the most of it.
15. Sometimes you’ll feel sad about doing the right thing. That’s ok. It’s still the right thing. For example removing toxicity from your life, whether it’s relationships or work.
16. The world and the people in it don’t owe you anything. If you want something, more often than not, you have to earn it.
17. Anxiety is always present. I’m not saying you’ll have anxiety, I’m saying you’ll feel anxious. I think they are two different things. You’ll worry about not being good enough, you’ll worry about doing the right thing, or the wrong thing. You’ll worry about what people think. You’ll worry about money, you’ll worrry about relationships, you’ll worry about work. Be kind to yourself and listen, try to learn how to manage those feelings. They’ll consume you otherwise.
18. You’ll never have enough time. That project you’re working on – not enough time. That essay you’re writing – not enough time. Time away with your friends – never enough time. You get the drift. Time really is precious, don’t take it for granted.
19. You’ll bury your head in the sand often pretending your fine, until you’re really not. Try to speak and unload to people regularly and do this in return for others. It helps.
20. Be kind and compassionate. Everyone, and I mean everyone, is going through something crazy. It costs nothing to be kind and it can really make the world of difference.
21. You won’t nap nearly as much as you used to. This one I’m pretty bitter about. The added extra here is that because you aren’t napping you’ll be forced to embrace the existentialism of ‘who am I, what do I want and where am I going in life?’ rather than sleep until it goes away. You’re welcome.

Hopefully this list provides an insight of what’s to come, especially for those of you just at the start of your adult journey, and I hope for those of you who are seasoned pros that something resonated with you too. Rest assured though, people have been transitioning from child to adolescent to teen to adult for the past 300,000 years. You’ll be ok. I believe in you. You’ve got this.

This has been a SmartPonders.
Thanks for reading!
Steph x