We’re taking a little change in direction with today’s blog. It’s a short and punchy ponder!
I’ve been having a lot of down-time lately. Between the stresses of work, managing a chronic health condition, and the continual fight against catastrophising, I’m making more of an effort than ever to take time out to do very little. At the moment that looks like binge watching Sons of Anarchy and shouting at the characters I dislike on the screen.
Something I’ve noticed from the show though has brought me to this ponder. The majority of the issues they face in the show could be solved by talking to one and other… Now, I know what some of you will say, ‘Steph, it’s just a show.’ or ‘all good drama needs conflict.’ You’d be right, but that’s not going to stop me here.
For those of you not familiar with the show, it follows the antics of a motorcycle club based out of a small town called Charming in North California. There’s crime, there’s adultery, there is conflict at every turn. There are drugs, guns and turf wars galore. Plus, pretty motorbikes. The general premise of the club is that it’s your family. You fight for it, and you’re loyal to the end. If you’re caught not being loyal, you’re killed. It’s all very dramatic. Ade and I are currently in season three, and the situation isn’t looking great for the club or the main characters. What has struck me though, is how much easier all the problems they are faced with would be, if they just spoke to each other and took accountability for their actions. As we all know, actions have consequences.
I should point out that I have not seen all seven seasons all the way through, Ade has. I should also preface that the following will contain spoilers. If you want Sons of Anarchy to remain spoiler free, I suggest you leave this blog for another day.
Example 1.
Character Opie.
He’s a dish in my humble opinion. However, here’s the situation. He has recently gotten married to a porn star – Lyla. He’s not happy about the porn part, but he ‘loves’ her. They haven’t been married that long, and when he finds birth control pills, he goes off on one, and naturally, sleeps with the next woman available. Don’t get me wrong. I love Opie’s as a character but man oh man, sort your life out. You know how??? Speak to your wife. Have a conversation where you establish that you want a baby. Although I’ll be honest, he then goes on to say to his bestie that he doesn’t even want a baby with her, so I’m not sure what the whole problem is then. BUT what I do know, is that if Opie actually spoke with Lyla the whole mess would have been avoided.
Example 2.
Character Tara.
Tara is the resident doctor character. Her and protagonist Jax were childhood sweethearts only for her to break his heart, move to Chicago, get a medical degree, and return to Charming into his ‘somewhat’ loving arms.
Tara has recently come into possession of a number of letters from Jax’s dead dad to his Belfast lover that basically uncovers Jax’s mother and stepfather to have played a large part in Jax’s father’s death. Now, Tara knows all this information, and is aware that others know that she knows. And yet, has she spoken to Jax about it? No. It’s really no wonder no one trusts each other, because they are all too busy hiding secrets! I’m not sure how all this is going to play out yet, so I’ll report back later, but pretty sure if she’d just give Jax the letters, as they were intended to get to him in the first place, crisis averted.
Example 3.
Character Jax.
Urgh, where to start. I’ll fix with the current secret he’s hiding. He has an agreement in place with Clay (president of the biker club and stepdad) that if he supports Clay in drug-muling, he’ll let Jax out of the club when Clay steps down as president. Why is this even being withheld from Tara? The number of times Tara and Jax converse where they agree to tell each other everything could easily be made into a drinking game by now. *rolls eyes*. You know what’s better than communication…? TRANSPARENT AND HONEST communication.
Anyway, whilst Ade and I both own motorcycles, and have had experience of being part of a club – which is nothing like Sons of Anarchy to the point that many a Motorcycle Club has expressed distain for the show, it did get me thinking about communication. Why is it so hard?
This is likely to lead into a part two when I dig deeper into the challenges, pitfalls and barriers that prevent communication. But for now, I’d love to know your thoughts on communication, as well as your thoughts on Sons of Anarchy if you’ve seen it. Despite what my ranting may lead you to believe, I’m totally hooked, and I love it! Thankfully the writers opted not to use communication in their storylines, because let’s face it, it would make for a very short run of seasons!
Have you had challenges with communication in the past?
What do you think made communication so difficult?
Do you think your communication has improved over time?
Let me know in the comments.
The next blog will share my own thoughts and experiences around communication and hopefully provide some tools to use on how we can improve these skills in the future.
For now, the Sons of Anarchy rant is over.
This has been a SmartPonders.
Thanks for reading!
Steph x
SmartPonders 