When Saturday rolls around, Ade (my other half) and I head to our local Park Run. It’s a reasonably new thing, but since taking up running it is something that is very much a ritual to our Saturday mornings. However, (at the time I started writing this) the route was covered in ice, it was cancelled. Off to the gym we went.
As always, I’m drawing on personal experience, and today’s Ponder (a draft post that has sat hidden from the world) explores my relationship with exercise, and why ‘just doing exercise’ is not that simple. Before I go on, it’s important to acknowledge that I am going to make generalisations here, and I appreciate that I am only one opinion, but if past blogs are anything to go by, I’m sure there will be people out there who relate.
Here are some questions to kick us off. Questions that I feel highlight the many barriers that can prevent (and have prevented me in the past) from doing any exercise. Do any of these prevent you? As you’re reading this, feel free to make your own notes! For transparency, I’ve included my own responses in italics.
- Do you now, or have you ever actively enjoyed exercise?
I never used to enjoy it. But I do now. However, getting started can often be the biggest hurdle for me. If I give myself too much time to think about it, I have been known in the past to talk myself out of getting it done. - Did you enjoy PE (Physical Education) in school?
No. I hated it. Many a note was written excusing me from it. I did try my best though. It just wasn’t my subject. - How many of you reading have been forced into doing exercise?
Yes. In PE. Cross Country running was the worst. As was football and Hockey. - Have you had a particularly negative experience directly associated with exercise?
Yes. Mostly from doing PE. Being out of breath, having that horrible dryness deep my throat and not being able to breathe, and also just not being good at sports made me embarrassed by my efforts, despite trying my best. - Have you ever, or do you currently feel intimidated, overwhelmed, .or scared, by exercise?
For sure. Both past and present. The gym can be an intimidating place. Running in public is a vulnerable place. I think gym cultures are changing, but internal biases and judgement still exists. I’ve been working hard to quiet the fear of what other people think. I’m definitely getting better at giving less of a damn.
Now, this isn’t a dis to any PE teachers. My PE teachers were lovely, and they definitely had their work cut out for them. But the big difference is they liked exercise in the first place. They have a passion for physical exertion that many people just don’t have.
Yet, it’s one of the best stress relievers, and mood boosters there is.
Here’s where the challenge lies.
Heisz et al (2021)
Its common knowledge that exercise is beneficial. We know that it will make us feel better.
But for many, that knowledge is not enough to inspire action.
Especially when the thought of exercising is overwhelming and stressful.
This is the Exercise-Stress Paradox.
Millard (2022)
I think about my relationship with exercise, and this pretty much hits the nail on the head. Although it has improved somewhat in this last year. However, there are still loud thoughts that are battled with.
I’m more active now that I think I’ve ever been, so I’ve been pondering as to why is this time round so different? What has changed? Here’s what I’ve concluded.
Firstly, in some respects, I’m a different person than I was when I was at school/college/uni. I’m older and marginally wiser. In my twenties, I wanted to be fit, but the reality was I didn’t want it enough. And let’s face it, in our twenties we feel invincible! Late nights, early mornings, eating everything in sight, and drinking like there’s no tomorrow. There was always something more pressing to do that exercise, and it always felt like a chore. I also didn’t really have an appreciation for the benefits of exercise and movement. However, now that I’m in my thirties there is a new awareness and affinity with being physically active. I think this is down to a few things. I’m not getting any younger. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t consider myself to be old, but I do notice that things creak more than they have in the past and aches and pains are daily squatters. Additionally, I don’t want to be someone who gets to retirement and isn’t actually fit enough to enjoy it. So that is my pledge to myself; to continue to develop a positive relationship with my body and what it can do. Celebrate the successes big and small and use each day as a steppingstone to get that bit fitter, healthier, and stronger. Even on the days I don’t want to, and rest assured there are plenty. But here’s what I’ve learned…
- I rarely regret the exercise and movement I do. Whether it’s dragging my ass out of bed at 6am for a run or trudging out the door for a post dinner stroll. There are very few occasions when I regret getting out and getting my body moving.
- Every time I move is a win. Whether it’s five minutes rolling about stretching on the floor – for flexible people it’s called yoga – for me it’s called Yoga. Did you think I was going to be self-deprecating there?!
- Even on the days when I’m beating myself up (I’m accomplished at this, and I’m working on being kinder to myself), there is something positive to be taken from it. That’s not to say I’m denying myself or invalidating what I feel. But in challenging my perspective, I’ve found there is more that can be learned. Just the other day, I’d come in from a morning run, and was beating myself up because I struggled to sustain my mile pace for two minutes. The reality, and indeed bigger picture, was that although I hadn’t lived up to my expectations for doing the two minutes, I did manage interval training with only thirty seconds of rest time. A first in my training. In addition to that, I’d completed a mile (run/walking intervals) in twelve and a half minutes. Meaning I’m on track to beat my previous 5K running time pre-breakdown. PLUS, when I think about it, the average pace for my two minutes was six minutes and fifty-six seconds. So, if I wanted to complete a mile run at that pace, I’d be running for nearly seven minutes. I did two, therefore I’m a quarter of the way there!! See – Change the perspective.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s worth it. To push past the fear, the anxiety and the worry of exercising and moving. It’s cliche to say, but we do only have one life, and I’m not going to spend any of mine worrying about what someone may or may not think about me as I thunder down the pavement with my bright red face and puffed out cheeks. There’s no going back now, and on the days I can move, I’m moving!
I’m doing this for me, past me, present me, and future me.
How about it? Five minutes of movement is still five minutes more movement in your life than yesterday. Choose you movement – I’m rooting for you! Let me know how you get on in the comments, one day at a time.
This has been a SmartPonders.
Thanks for reading. x
Bibliography
Heisz, J., Fenesi, B., Ogrodnik, M., Nicholson, E., Marashi, M.Y. (2021) A mental health paradox: Mental health was both a motivator and barrier to physical activity during the COVID-19 pandemic [online]. Available from <https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0239244>
Millard, E., (2022) What Is the Exercise-Stress Paradox, and Could It Be Affecting You? [online]. Available from <https://www.bicycling.com/news/a36364711/exercise-stress-paradox-study/>
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