No Worries: journaling and learning

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If you follow my Instagram or Facebook, you’ll have seen I have a recent practice in my life – journaling. I’ve dipped in and out of it in the past where I’ve just had a notebook and written a recap of my day, what happened, how I felt and any other worth-while observations. However, it never really had any direction, nor was it a daily ritual. It was merely a case of keeping a record when I could be bothered. That’s probably why I didn’t stick with it in the past. It didn’t feel like it has a purpose or direction. It was just a reminder of, in most cases, unpleasant experiences that had happened, or rants I was having at the time. I’m not sure those are the sorts of things I want to have a record of.

However, my other half, Ade got me a journal as part of my Christmas, and I’ve been completing it religiously since the start of January. This blog is about what I’ve learned so far, as well as general thoughts on the practice of journaling.

No Worries

No Worries is the name of the journal that Ade got me. It’s a twelve-week guided workbook that for each day spans two pages. The prompts are easy to work with and the process of engaging with the questions can take as much or as little time as you want to give it. I usually do it in bed, before I go to sleep.

At the top of each day there are a number of emotions listed; happy, energetic, calm, stressed, sad, tired. You can circle or colour in the one (or more) that resonates with you in that day. There are then four questions to respond to.

  1. What was on my mind today?
  2. How might I reframe those thoughts?
  3. Did anything trigger my anxiety today?
  4. How did I respond?

On the second page there is space to celebrate my accomplishments or wins. A space to practice daily gratitude. A check list of self-care, and finally a box to note down something that made me happy that day.

What works?

For me, I love the simplicity of it, and I love that it doesn’t demand a lot of brain power from me. I’m sure that for many of you like me, the last thing you want to do at the end of the day is think!

The way in which the questions and spaces have been created provide an opportunity to ponder, rather than demanding a more critical and clinical reflection on the day. In addition to this, acknowledging the celebrations and wins really works for me – no matter how small. Practicing daily gratitude has also been incredibly beneficial.

Prior to working with this journal, I’d never really included gratitude practices into my everyday life. Don’t get me wrong, I’d definitely have moments here and there where I’d stop and think, ‘yup, I’m really grateful for this person, this position, this experience’ etc. But it certainly wasn’t every day. Furthermore, I’d often be guilty of getting to the end of a day and thinking I’d achieved nothing, or worse, have not even thought about the day as an individual experience I’d had. When in actual fact, I was achieving a lot more than I was giving myself credit for. Some of those days the wins were to get up, shower, and/or make the bed. Other times it was published a blog, created a website, or read for fun! Wins need to be celebrated, and I think this journal as made me re-think what I consider to be a win.

I also really love the feel of the front cover. I know nothing about book making but it has a softness to it where it doesn’t feel like card. It’s a rather well-made journal!

What doesn’t work?

There is a question from the four that doesn’t quite work with me and I’m not sure why. It’s ‘how might I reframe those thoughts?’ which follows on from the reflection on what happened in the day. Now, I’m not sure if it’s a case of my responses in question one being written in such a way that question two doesn’t make sense, or maybe my responses aren’t focused enough on my thoughts. I do tend to write my experiences; what did I see, what did I do, what did I think, what did I feel. I’ll be honest, there may be a wee lightbulb occurring right now as I type this, because I think I’ve answered my own question. My responses to question one, aren’t enough about what I think.
I’ll review the way I answer the question and follow up later to let you know how it goes! I’ve essentially just had a ‘diffuse’ moment! (See The Journey of Learning: Oakley says ‘Focus’ and ‘Diffuse’.)

The other thing about the journal that hasn’t worked for me (yet) is the weekly and monthly reviews. At the end of each there are a couple of pages where you can reflect on the week or month as a whole, and acknowledge healthy habits, or track thought patterns, and set goals. It’s maybe that I haven’t created enough time when I’m writing at night to consider these in any great detail. I’ll aim to set extra time on Sundays to see if I can get more out of it.

What have I learned?

Summarising my experience so far with the journal, here’s what I’ve learned.

  1. Celebrating wins every day is so important. With these wins, it’s also about appreciating them in all shapes and sizes. Setting myself realistic expectations for the day helps here. And even if I don’t achieve what I’ve set out to do, it provides me a moment to pause and think about the progress made. If no progress was made, it creates a moment to dig deeper and question why. For example, say I’ve set out to write a blog and record a podcast, which I do on Saturdays, and I don’t get further than the title. I’ll ask myself why I couldn’t get beyond the title, despite sitting for hours at the computer waiting for the words to flow. Nine times out of ten, it’s because I’m not as inspired by the topic as I thought I was. So rather than beat myself up about it, I’ll leave the title in my drafts, and look at other drafts, or suggestions for what is next. Sooner or later, because I’m doing something I love and I could write for Scotland, a blog will appear. It might be the case it takes longer or happens on another day. Ultimately, it’s not the end of the world. My brain just wasn’t in it.
  2. Daily gratitude. Oooft. This has been a game changer. I’ve found myself being more present during the day. Really listening to people, taking in my surroundings, and creating moments to pause where I can be grateful. Moments when I’m with friends and family, laughter shared with colleagues, lightbulb moments with students. I’ve come to realise they are all so much more to me when I’m fully appreciative of them.
  3. Setting time aside to practice. This goes for gratitude, journaling, and reflecting. I might be knackered by the time I get to bed, but those five minutes really help to keep my mood up and spirits high. Long may that continue!

Where do I go from here?

The journal lasts twelve-weeks so I still have time to go with it. I’m at the half-way point really! Once I’ve completed it, I’ll do a follow up blog to see if anything changed along the way. I’ll also need to get myself a new journal, as the practice is very much something I plan to continue!

I’d be interested to know how many of you out there journal! Let me know in the comments! How do you find it as a process, and what has been the biggest thing you’ve learned so far? Also, what do you use to do it?

This has been a SmartPonders.
Thanks for reading!
Steph x

Boundaries: what are they, why do we need them and how do we make them?

Ever since I can remember, I have found it challenging to create and sustain boundaries. There’s definitely been an improvement of late, but I’ll get to that. As well as considering what boundaries are, why we need them and how we put them in place, the ponder today also asks why it’s so hard!

What are boundaries?
For me, boundaries are about how much of yourself you give to someone or something. It’s about the value you place on yourself, the beliefs, and opinions you hold, and the relationships you have with those around you.
Boundaries can be based on intellect, so, knowing that you’re entitled to your beliefs and opinions and being comfortable with them, at the same time appreciating that others are entitled to the same.
There can be emotional boundaries, where you allow yourself to feel the feelings you have in any situation, acknowledging others can do this too.
Physical boundaries are about managing your space and who is in it.
With social boundaries it’s about how you spend your time and who with.
Finally, there are spiritual boundaries when you allow yourself to hold your own spiritual and/or religious beliefs.
Seems pretty simple when we break it down like that. We are who we are, and we like what we like. Right?
Maybe not.
How many of us out there can say we are 100% unapologetically ourselves all the time? I like to think I make a good effort at this, but I know it’s not 100% of the time. There are times I revert right back to my younger teen self – insecure, anxious, and worried about saying or doing the wrong thing for fear of embarrassment or ridicule.

What are the advantages and why are they important?
Take a moment to think about your own situation. How much time do you give to your place of work? How much energy do you give to others? How often do you do things for you? How often do you suppress your emotions? All these answers will give you an indication of what your current boundaries are. The advantages all come down to reminding yourself that you are entitled to time, to space, to feel your emotions, to own your beliefs and manage your life in a way that’s best for you. The biggest challenge is not creating the boundaries, but rather asserting them.

My relationship with boundaries then
When I think about my own boundaries, we need to go back in a time a bit. I should also preface this with I’ve always been a high achiever and always been career driven. Maybe that contributes to the challenges I’ve had with boundaries in the past (and indeed now).
It’s funny, as I’ve started to write this, I’m trying to figure out when to start exploring the boundary issue. I was going to start with my undergrad days, but then realised it was also present in college, then I was going to write about college, but also boundary challenges were present in my old life when I worked in IT. For the sake of this blog though, I’ll accumulate experiences through college and university. Stick with the current life, so to speak.
When I was at college, and university, I was always the person with my fingers in all the pies (metaphorically speaking). I had my studies, extra-curriculars, work, and a social life. Looking back, I’m honestly not sure how I managed it. Especially when you throw in the additional factor of the chronic illness.
For example, I think back to my third year particularly. I was renting a flat on my own, studying full time, which meant being on campus three days a week but also researching and rehearsing with the additional course materials too, and I was working three freelance jobs; Caterpillar Music – music and sensory fun with babies to nursery age children all over Edinburgh and the Lothians, ComputerXplorers – afterschool computing clubs for primary school kids in and around Edinburgh, and Razzmatazz Theatre School – teaching drama from ages five to eighteen in Corstorphine. My days were busy! I also remember the burnout that hit at that time. It lasted four months. Don’t get me wrong, I loved those jobs! I gave them everything I had, second to my studies. Maybe that was one of the issues though. Looking back on it, whilst I very much believe I did what I had to do to get by, if I were to go back and do it again, with my wiser self, I’d do things a little differently. But isn’t that what it’s all about? Acknowledging where it’s gone wrong and ensuring it doesn’t happen again?

My relationship with boundaries now
Lately I’ve been seeing a therapist. I’ve had some ups and downs with work relating to stress. Essentially, giving so much of myself to the work, the students, and my colleagues, that I’ve not been looking after me. That’s on me and I absolutely do not grudge that. However, I’m learning that it’s not healthy.
I’ve realised some things so far in the journey of self-care and self-awareness. It is ok to give yourself time and space and feel your feelings. But more importantly, it’s ok to say no, and it’s ok to feel guilty about it. Even though you know there is nothing you should actually feel guilty about.
I’ve recently been working harder at being more assertive with my own boundaries. Making decisions on how much of myself I give to work at the university is one of them. I work Monday to Friday 9-5pm. That’s it. Does it mean I don’t get my to do list completed during the day? Maybe. Does it mean it will take longer to get some things done? Also ,maybe. Does the world fall to pieces? No. The work is still there the following day. Don’t get me wrong though, I’m sure there will be some exceptions where I work beyond the 9-5pm, but it will be because I’m choosing to, and it will be for my benefit. One of the reasons I started the blog venture, was to have something for me, a way to spend my time in the way I want it to be spent. Not the ways in which I felt it was being demanded to be spent.

Why is it so hard to put boundaries in place?
Well, there isn’t just one reason that makes putting boundaries in place difficult. In my opinion there are a number of reasons! I’m sure many of you out there will relate to these…
1. not wanting to say no.
2. not wanting to upset people.
3. saying yes for an easy life.
4. generally, just wanting to be there for people.
5. you don’t want to let anyone down.
6. you don’t feel confident enough to assert yourself (which is obviously totally ok! I’m not brilliant at it myself.)

My personal favourite is number five. Which ones resonate with you? Are there any that aren’t on the list that impact you? Let me know.

What can you take away from this?
Well, let’s go back to the five areas to create boundaries: Intellectual, Emotional, Physical, Social, and Spiritual.
Think about your own situation. Do you think there are areas of your life you would like to change? Do you feel you give too much of your time to work? Do you give too much of your energy to other people? When do you give time to you? Pick one area of your life and focus on that and make a small change. You’ll be surprised by how much that small change can make a big impact.
Let’s take work for example. Maybe you’re someone who puts in way more hours than you’re actually paid for. That could be your starting point. Take half an hour away from that time and turn it in to ‘me’ time. Or maybe you’re the ‘yes’ person. I challenge you, for once, try to say no.

I’m not saying any of it will be easy, but I am saying that in a short space of time, I already feel so much better about the ways in which I use my energy and my time. I’d love to hear how you get on, so if you’d be willing to share, fire me a message.

Change starts with you.

This has been a SmartPonders.
Thanks for reading!
Steph x

Listening to Hear: the superpower you didn’t know you had

When was the last time you really listened to what someone had to say? I mean really listened. That is the ponder topic for today – all about listening, and the difference between listening to hear, and listening to respond.

On the BA (hons) drama and production degree I teach on, there are two modules I run that explore applied drama. Applied drama being the umbrella term used for drama in ‘non-traditional’ theatre spaces. In the third-year module the students learn about using drama in educational and community contexts, then in fourth-year they learn about using drama in health and well-being contexts. In both classes, the students work with an external client to plan, deliver, and reflect on a practical project (workshop, piece of theatre, or film) designed as a response to the needs of the client. It might be to work with the client to promote their work, their values, or the communities they work with. The projects can be for education/community, with education/community, or about education/community.

Before the students get to know who their assigned client is, they have a session on listening and communication. One of the key principles of communication being the art of listening.

There are two forms of listening. The first form is based on the notion of listening to hear what someone is saying, to really hear. Versus the other which is listening to respond. It seems so obvious when the two forms are separated, yet how many of us are aware of the two, and are honestly in control, in the moment? So, what’s the difference and why am I including it in part of the teaching?

Listening to respond

I would say this is the version of listening we’re all used to. Engaging in a conversation where there is a back and fore between people. Person A speaks, person B responds to what person A has said. For each participant in the conversation the focus is on their own response to the other person. There is an impulse to speak. In exchanges like this we are likely to experience people talking over each other, and/or not responding accurately to any questions that are asked. Another example, how many of you have had a conversation with someone who is on their phone at the same time as speaking/listening to you? I know I’ve been guilty of it. In these instances, the focus is not on the person in the conversation, but rather the phone, which ultimately has an impact on any chance of any meaningful interaction.

Listening to hear

In opposition to listening to respond, the focus of listening to hear is on the person speaking. That is to say you as the listener are focused on hearing what the other person is saying, not to respond, but to process and understand what is being said. Usually when we listen to hear, there is a greater connection with the person you’re engaging with and it’s more of an authentic exchange. In addition to this, as a listener your response will likely have a greater focus on the person you’re responding to (rather than it being you responding with your own impulse to speak). When we listen to hear, we additionally allow more space to think during a conversation. We listen to hear the person, we think, then we respond. Ultimately, we are creating an exchange that is more honest, authentic, and present in the moment.

How do we do it?

There are five key things we can do to help us to improve our listening skills and practice listening to hear. You’ll be delighted to learn that they aren’t that hard to do! It just requires a little bit more thought.

  1. Pay attention. Look at how they are behaving physically. We often say more with our bodies than we do with our voices. Listen out for things like tone of voice too.
  2. Listen with your body. Body language communicates so much. When listening to someone, position yourself physically so you are facing and directing yourself towards the person you’re listening to. Faces can communicate too. Smiles, nodding, and eye contact can go a long way. You can also vocalise when it feels appropriate (uh-huh, of-course, really etc).
  3. Don’t interrupt. You are listening. Give the person speaking the space to say what they want to. Ensure they have finished speaking before you respond.
  4. Repeat what the person says. This is helpful to really show you’re listening. This also gives you the opportunity to ensure you’ve interpreted what they have said in the way it was meant. We’ve all been there, when someone says something, and we have taken it the wrong way. Listening to hear, allows you to avoid this by sharing how you’ve interpreted what you’ve heard.
  5. Respond to what has been said. In listening to hear, you automatically create space to think of the responses most appropriate to what has been said.

Ponder in Practice

Hopefully, having read the blog, you’ve been inspired to consider the ways you can improve the conversations you have, and hopefully apply the five tips of listening to hear. Give it a go! You don’t need to set out from the get-go that you’re going to listen to hear, but rather have an awareness in conversation, and look for opportunities to try it out. Remember, listening is a skill. Therefore, it takes practice to master. Why not start now?

There you have it. Listening is the superpower you didn’t even know you had. Think of how great it feels when someone really listens to you. You have that power to make everybody feel that. How awesome is that?! To be able to make a meaningful connection, and to have a meaningful exchange. As always, I’d love to know how you get on with it, so feel free to leave me a comment or drop me a message.

‘Truly listening, attentively, and with care, is one of the simplest and most kind gifts we can give anyone.’

John Bruna, writer, educator, former Tibetan Monk.

All that remains is one final question. Are you ready to be a superhero?

This has been a SmartPonders.
Thanks for reading.
Steph x

The Journey of Learning: Oakley says ‘Focus’ and ‘Diffuse’.

Since embarking on this journey, I find my brain is constantly whirring away thinking about the ways in which we learn new things. Thinking about learning as an active process (yup – there’s that word again!) where we participate in the acquisition of new knowledge and skills. Today’s ponder is centred around that.

How do we learn?

It’s a bit of a loaded question here, and I could write a whole series of blogs on all the things I’m learning around the intricacies of teaching and learning. Maybe I will! However, for the purposes of this blog, I’m going to draw on a fantastic video I watched recently by Barbara Oakley, PhD. She talks about the ways in which she changed her brain. She went from achieving a BA in Slavic Languages and Literature, to then change direction entirely to Engineering which she now has a PhD in. Firstly, I find this fascinating! As someone with degrees in creative subjects, and little comprehension of anything maths or physics related (which was also the perspective Oakley had at the start), I honestly could not fathom myself achieving a future degree in a STEM subject.
Yet, as I wrote that sentence, I had the realisation that my interests, since starting my own learning journey into learning and teaching pedagogies, have very much shifted, whereby I find myself reading papers on metacognition, psychology, and neuroscience. Something I didn’t think would ever happen if I’m being honest. Therefore, maybe I’m not that far away from a shift as I think. I digress.

Anyway, the premise of what Oakley talks about is the idea that we have two modes of learning, and in being aware of these, accessing them and switching between the two, is the key to achieving our maximum learning potential. The two modes she refers to are the ‘focus’ mode and the ‘diffused’ mode. Think of the ‘focus’ mode as being active when you’re fully engaged and immersed in learning or trying to understand something; the acquisition of new knowledge through problem solving. However, you’re struggling to make sense of it. Let’s face it, we’ve all been there. I vividly remember throwing a French dictionary in a cupboard at home during a tantrum when I was younger. I just couldn’t grasp the work I was doing. I don’t remember what exactly it was at the time, but I do remember the intensity of the frustration and upset of not understanding. This example would be synonymous to being in the ‘focus’ mode. Only getting so far with the understanding, to then be met by a brick wall. She suggests it’s at that point you work towards shifting from the focused state to the diffused state.

The diffused state is essentially letting your mind wander. Trying to create some distance between you and the problem. Giving yourself space to think and ponder, reducing the proximity you are to the problem. Think of a time when you’ve forgotten someone’s name, or the thing you were about to say – as soon as you stop thinking about it, it comes back to you. I think of my own learning, particularly when I was learning lines as an actor. I would often spend hours trying to get them into my head and it just wouldn’t work. Of course, the frustration was impeding the process. However, when I’d go to bed in the evening, and start to relax, the lines would then appear, clear as day, and I’d be able to fully connect to them. All because I put distance between myself and the problem. This is the diffused state that Oakley talks about.

What Oakley believes is that you need to alternate between the two states in order to maximize your learning potential. Based on my own experience, I’d agree.

Listening to her speak made me think of a couple of other learning processes Biggs’ Surface and Deep Learning approach as well as an area of neuroscience on brain waves and states (alpha, beta, theta etc). I’m not going to go into detail about either right now, as each will likely be a blog in and of themselves. However, there are definite links to what Oakley is saying relative to Biggs and the work being done to understand the impact of brain waves and brain states on learning and comprehension.

How can we practice the shift?

It’s funny actually because one of the techniques she referred to is the ‘Pomodoro Technique’ and it’s one I use with my own students and have for some time, especially when they are struggling to engage with their learning.

The technique was first realised by Francesco Cirillo is a time-management approach to working productively. The technique consists of setting a goal – something you want to work on, then setting a timer for twenty-five minutes. During that time there should be no interruptions. Phone and TV off, and ideally in a space where no one else is going to appear to distract you. Then you work for those twenty-five minutes. The thought behind it being that you’re only focusing on short bursts to then allow yourself to shift to the diffused state following your twenty-five minutes. It can be so hard to concentrate in a world where we never seem to stop and are constantly bombarded with demands. However, knowing that twenty-five minutes at a time is all you have to give to a piece of work, seems pretty doable, don’t you think?

Over time you start to work out just how much you can get done in the twenty-five-minute increments and as a result can then better manage both your time and your productivity. Work smart and not hard! I also love the story of how it came to be known as the Pomodoro Technique. I’m not sure if there is truth in it or not, but apparently when Cirillo was first working with setting time frames he would use a kitchen timer. What we in the UK would call an egg timer. Except the one he was using was a tomato. Italian for tomato is pomodoro.

So, there you have it. Why not try this approach when you’re next working on something. Work for those twenty-five minutes in a focussed state, then take a break for a short time in a diffused state. See if it makes a difference to how you’re feeling and how much work you get done! As always, let me know how you get on!

This has been a SmartPonders.
Thanks for reading!

Steph x

I See: visualising and what it can do for you.

Yup, we’re heading into wanky territory with this blog, so buckle up.

Those of you who know me will be all too familiar with the term, wanky, but for those of you who don’t know me that well yet, fear not. I’m not leaving you out. The term ‘wanky’ is one that I use instead of pretentious. It is a term used fairly often to the point past classes of drama students kept a ‘wanky count’ – a note of how many times I’d say ‘wanky’ throughout a class. If you weren’t yet counting, we’re at five.

Anyway… today’s ponder is all about visualisation. I know a couple of posts back I talked about embracing the journey, and that life was rarely about the destination (if you haven’t read that blog, I’d encourage you do), however, today is about creating the destination. Visualising the end goal, or end point you want to reach. After all, without a vision, how can you have a focus?

I shall articulate my meaning by reflecting on the days of me and my learner motorbike Enyo. As part of the learning journey to achieve my full license, I had to learn how to do a slalom and figure of eight on the bike. Time and time again I’d fail, losing my balance, or putting my foot down. Big no-no’s for the test. I was practicing all the time, in any car park or space I could find, but something just wasn’t right. It wasn’t until my instructor – Shout out to Kevin! – said to visualise the end goal and focus my attention on the end cone. Not each cone as I get to it.
Yes. Before anyone points it out, this could be seen as a contradiction to what I have said previously in the embracing the journey post. But, if you account for the slalom being one part of the greater journey of getting the license, and the fact I’m still embracing the process, I think I (just) get away with it.
Back to the cones. The advice that Kevin gave me in that moment, proved to be the key that unlocked the next level up, so to speak. The next time I tried the slalom, I nailed it. So, I did it again to make sure it wasn’t a fluke, then again, and again. I got it right every time from then on. All because my focus was on the end cone, I was visualising the manoeuvre before it happened, and visualising the end goal.

What is Visualisation?
Visualisation is a tool of the imagination. It’s the ability to focus on something in your mind, so clearly and with such strong belief, and minute detail, that you can (arguably) bring it into being.
Now, before you all start rolling your eyes at me, please keep in mind I’m writing this from the perspective of a drama lecturer, whereby most of the work I do is around the imagination. Imagining something and then bringing it to life, whether that be characters, stories, ideas etc. Also known as visualisation. As part of the acting training, students are taught the basics of visualisation. They are taught the basics of most acting approaches, and through their own practice and exploration, they can choose what they stick with and what doesn’t work for them. Visualisation, for the most part, is one that becomes a staple in the actor’s toolkit.
Thinking of visualisation beyond the rehearsal room, it’s the same principle as having a vision, setting a goal, having a destination in your mind. The main difference is that you can see it as clear as day. There is such a strong sense of certainty that it is going to happen, that you couldn’t possibly argue with yourself. I’m saying that as someone who argues with herself on the regular.
It takes practice and there are exercises you can do to help you develop the skillset – maybe that’s another blog topic – but when it works, it really works! I mean how else do you think people create something from nothing. You can do the same. It all comes down to the vision!

What does it mean to create a vision?
The idea of a vision is (aside from a definition for eyesight) comes from the world of business. When first planning a business, you set out the following,

  1. Mission – who you are, what you stand for, and what you offer to the world.
  2. Vision – where you want to be in the future.
  3. Aims – the things you are setting out to do or provide. The ‘what you’ll do’.
  4. Objectives – the steps you’ll take to achieve the aims. The ‘how you’ll do it’ in a way that can measure your success.

The vision is all about the future. Acknowledging that right now, in the present, you can, and do have the power, to imagine what your future could be like. Where you want to be, what you want to be doing, who you want to be doing it with. That’s the vision. The biggest challenge is believing that you can have that. That’s visualisation.

How can visualisation be useful?
I know there will be some people reading this, who I’ve lost with this one. And that’s totally ok! I’m under no illusion that not every post will resonate with everyone. That’s just not how we as humans function.
However, the imagination is a powerful tool, regardless of your belief in visualisation. Think back to when you were growing up. Imagination, make-believe, role-play, world building… It’s all connected. I know when I think back to the imaginary friends I had growing up, I believed without a shadow of a doubt that they were real. That belief was present through playing with barbies, playing ‘schoolies’ (when I’d pretend to be a teacher and the dolls I had were pupils – I know I’m not the only one out there.) and even when roleplaying Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It was all real, but in my head, and in the heads of my friends. Did it matter for one second that none of us were dressed like Power Rangers when we played? No! We saw it in our heads and committed to it. There was never any doubt.

I guess that is the difference now, isn’t it? We’ve lost the belief and the magic in the what ‘could be’. The unwavering belief in what we can’t see. Becoming the adults we are today, we’re often impeded by fear and doubt. It stops the joy, it stops the creativity, and most importantly, it stops the imagination. Well, I for one think it’s time to reclaim the imagination!

So, if you’ve made it this far, you deserve a gold star, but instead, here’s a challenge for you. Take twenty minutes with a blank sheet of paper, in a quiet space, and ask yourself what could your future look like? What is within your control? Let your mind wander and write it all down. Acknowledge each one of those possibilities. Then pause and smile. Because that’s your starting point right there. That’s the beginning of your vision and your visualisation.

This has been a SmartPonders.
Thanks for reading!
Steph x

It’s Not Just Sleep: Seven Magic Modes of Rest.

Recently I read an article that spoke about rest. The focus wasn’t so much on the how and why, but rather that there are different forms of rest. For some of you, this may seem common sense, but for me it really gave me a moment to pause.

As someone with a chronic illness, rest is vital in helping me create balance to function in life. I’m sure many can relate. We’re no good when we don’t rest. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there are many of you out there who don’t rely on as much rest as some, and that’s totally acceptable. We are all individuals and sometime within these fleeting lives of ours should be spent figuring out what works for us and what doesn’t.

For me, I need rest and plenty of it. But I’ve only ever thought of rest as being an early night, or a lazy day. But no. It seems there is a little more to it than that. Let me elaborate.

In the article (and accompanying Tedx talk), I’ll post the link at the bottom, Saundra Dalton-Smith states that sleep and rest are not synonymous to each other. They aren’t the same thing. This blew my mind to be honest. Having ME, which is also known as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, my wellness depends on rest which for me has always equated to sleep (so I thought!). However, in listening to her talk, and reading the article it’s given me pause to ponder.

There are seven types of rest that we all need. These types will have a value to everyone based on which area you exert most energy from. And that’s the point Dalton-Smith makes. Our day to day lives require energy and that energy isn’t always physical.

She lists the seven types of rest as,

  • Physical
  • Mental
  • Sensory
  • Creative
  • Emotional
  • Social
  • Spiritual

Throughout the day, situations arise when the energy we use comes from multiple sources. For example, I think of my teaching practice. When I’m in the studio with students, I’m drawing on physical, mental, and creative energies. Versus when I’m out on the motorbike which draws on mental, physical, and sensory energies.

Dalton-Smith proposes that by stopping to consider where you’re exerting most of your energy from throughout the day, you can more effectively respond by providing yourself the opportunity for the rest you actually need, and not the sleep only approach which you may have relied on before.

Let’s consider each type of rest.

Physical Rest – this is the rest we’ve come to know as sleep, napping and chilling on the couch. The opportunity to physically stop.

Mental Rest – we tend to be on the go all the time in our brains. I know I often feel like that. As if my brain won’t shut off or just pause. However, I’ve found that taking breaks throughout the day helps massively. I schedule in time away from my desk, usually to go for a short walk, or a short stretch session. Just enough to create a pause in the mental demands on my brain. Meditation is also a great strategy for mental rest too!

Sensory Rest – for me it’s lights. I hate a bright light. Also known as the ‘big/top light’ for those Scottish readers. After a while they make me feel uncomfortable. Of course, we can’t consider sensory energy exertion without accounting for all the screen time we have. Even being in a busy space with too much going on can very swiftly maximise our sensory energy output. I’ll be honest, sitting in a quiet, dark room does me the world of good! Although even finding a moment to shut my eyes or having a silent car ride home can be enough to get that sensory rest in! Please note, eyes are not shut at the same time as driving the car.

Creative Rest – this is about achieving rest through the appreciation of the arts and beauty in the world around you. It’s about igniting passion and inspiration! Giving space to allow your creativity to come into being is what creative rest is all about.

Emotional Rest – if you find yourself as a people pleaser, this one will relate to you. When you’re the person who constantly supports others, but feels undervalued, you leave no space to support yourself or others to support you in return. So having open conversations where you let people in and be more honest about how you’re feeling, even when it’s hard, will help with emotional rest. You’re not using emotional energy to suppress the feelings, but rather feeling them and being open about it.

Social Rest – Dalton-Smith points out that social often goes hand in hand with the emotional. However, the difference is about the energies expelled within the relationships of the people around us. I see it as there are people who give you energy – they are the boosters. Then there are those who will suck your energy dry. I call them the drainers. When you spend your time being around people who drain you, you can’t help but feel depleted. Therefore, it makes sense that to get social rest, it’s about being around the boosters! And when you can, make it face to face!

Spiritual Rest – the idea of connection, belonging, love, acceptance, and purpose. Believing in something more than just you. Whether that is religion, faith, or community. Again, creating space for that belief creates the rest.

Now that I’ve gone through each of these, consider your own life. Do you turn to sleep but wake feeling unrested? That’s definitely the case for me. Therefore, maybe it’s because that’s not the rest I really need. How about you join me in the days to come, by trying to be a little more aware of where your energy is going, and let’s try to better target that rest! I’d love to hear how you get on!

This has been a SmartPonder.

Thanks for reading!

Steph x

Dalton-Smith, S. (2021) The real reason we are tired and what to do about it [online] available from https://youtu.be/ZGNN4EPJzGk