Following on from the debut blog post, (which if you haven’t read already, please do!) it felt logical to take some time to write a bit more about ‘adulting’ and my experiences of it thus far. Got to say, it’s a bit of a rollercoaster, right?? Not only that… No one warns you about it. It just creeps up on you! Let me elaborate.
In the previous post, I acknowledged that there has definitely been a transition, even somewhat of an acceptance into adulthood. Or what I deem to be adulthood. As much adulthood as I’m willing to embark on anyway. My partner and I have a house together, we co-parent, we have a fur baby (yes, I am that person) and we both have successful careers. We have goals, we have aspirations, and we have a pension plan. Yet, I don’t feel like and adult, or rather what I think it should feel like to be an adult. Quite frankly, I’m embracing it.
When does it actually happen though? When do you become an adult? What even is an adult? Obviously, I can only share my own views here, but I’d love to hear what yours are, so please feel free to leave any comments! What is your experience of being an adult?
For me, there wasn’t a particular moment in time when I suddenly realised that I was an adult. It was more like a lot of little moments happening over a short transition period from student to adult. Obviously, you cannot be both.
I finished my master’s degree in May of 2017, by the time October arrived I had relocated from Edinburgh back to the Highlands, I was working as a lecturer, I was living in my own flat, I had my own car. And of course, I met Ade. I was an adult now. And there is nothing I can do about it.
What I’ve learned so far is that there is a difference between the adult I am, versus the adult that society expects me to be, or that adult that I expect society to expect me to be. If you get my meaning.
For example, some find it odd that I spontaneously burst into song or start speaking in a different accent. Apparently, this is not the norm.
Example.
Last month, my partner, my stepdaughter and I went down to Edinburgh for the day. We were helping my sister move into her new flat, so killed two birds with one stone by going to the markets. It was a complete bust though as it was far too busy, we could barely move. So, we settled for a wander around the city taking in the lights instead. On said wanders, myself and my partner were talking to each other in Northern English accents. We do this quite a lot, much to the dismay of the fifteen-year-old. The accent will vary to keep things fresh. Anyway, my other half is a big Lego fan, so when we spotted a Lego bag, we began asking each other where the store might be, that it was exciting that one was nearby and whether we wanted to go. All in the Northern English accent. Cue the moment a young local man turned round to us to provide directions to the Lego store. Lovely, right?! I of course said thank you having dropped the accent without thinking. His face was quite the picture. Although it was only later that I realised he may have thought we were taking the mic with the Scottish Accent. So, Edinburgh Sir – if you happen to read this, please know my thank you was sincere, and in my own accent. My partner and I are just a pair of twits.
My friends and I often talk to each other about the things no one tells you about being an adult. No one tells you about the anxiety that seems to be there all the time in one form or another. Whether it’s worries about work, family, relationships, money, even the world! Especially of late. There is almost an air of feeling helpless, as if the cycle we’re in appears never ending. I think that’s why I’ll never stop playing. I don’t want to be led by anxiety and fear. Think of the wrinkles!
So, my plan is to compromise! I will accept the responsibilities and duties of my adult self BUT I will also embrace my eccentricities, continue to dream, to play and to find the joy anywhere I can. Whether that’s through accents, characters or make believe – for I can conlcude that I am a ‘kidult’.
Kidult – The adults who refuse to act their age, who embrace their inner child.
This has been a SmartPonder.
Thanks for reading!
Steph x
SmartPonders 
There was so much to smile at for me in this post Steph. I’ve been thinking about this whole adulting thing a fair bit of late, especially being fresh out of uni, taking baby steps into the “real world” which everyone seems to populate. I’m very much destined to compromise like yourself, I have never had the ability nor the desire to do things conventionally. Here’s to the Kidults and a good blog !
– Luke (Zuper Rookie)
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Thank you for the kind words. I’m glad to hear something resonated with you.
I fully remember feeling that way when I finished my undergrad. I think there should be a place that helps with the transition because it’s blooming scary! So I’m hoping that I can help along the way with sharing what I’ve learned in the hope that it helps a little. ❤
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Oddly, I feel very much both student and adult. I study, I work, I have two puppies and am also an unpaid carer. I experience “adult” stress (potentially times 100) but I actually find that the kid energy makes the adulty stress easier to deal with. E.g. the other week we had a trip to A&E for S’s mental health. I was tired, overwhelmed, confused and all the rest of it but the next day we look it real easy, watched Disney movies, had chocolate for breakfast and all that jazz and, honestly, it helps.
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Sorry to hear that things have been stressy. You’re absolutely right though about finding the things that support you best when things are tough. Disney and chocolate are excellent choices.
The comment about not being able to be a student and an adult was in reference to my previous blog, and more sarcasm regarding my own experience, because of course you can be both as you’ve rightly said. 🙂
Hope things ease up for you both. ❤
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Do do adults things but act like a child majority of the time. I’m 40 this year (I know right) but I’m actually only wiser and not any more mature that my early twenties.
I am most definitely I kidult but probably more likely a chilt 🤩
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Hahaha a ‘chilt’! Thats hilarious! I’m loving all these terms that are coming out of people’s relationship with ‘adulthood’.
I think that’s a good point you’ve made about maturity! Maybe that’s what it is that makes the sterotypical adult – stuffy maturity. 😛 Glad to say I don’t have any of that!
Also.. no way you’re the big 4 0…! I am shooketh! Here’s to getting older, and wiser, but defintely not maturer! ❤
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Love your blog so far Steph! You have such a way with words, that feels very natural and comforting. Can’t wait to follow the journey and engage in your discussions 🙂
It’s funny how you have discussed this topic, because it’s very much been a talking point in our house lately! I turn 30 this year, and I feel a strange sense of excitement for the next stage and total fear for becoming a more ‘official adult’
I have actually got more excited about saving money and investing for the future, especially after me and Adam moved into our first home last year. You start to see the long term pay-offs and the future you are building, which is really rewarding, and you think this adult thing is actually quite good. However, it’s not all roses….
I also feel more drawn to doing more youthful and ‘childish’ endeavours for the last few years. Like last year I started re-reading loads campy teen horror books from my teen-hood, and also binging old anime I loved as a kid. I seem to be craving these types of activities more and more.
There is value in the mashing of all these activities. For example, when I was in hospital for a few months last year, those crappy horror books were the perfect tonic to the heavy energy around me. But also still managing some work and home stuff from my phone, gave me a sense of control which you feel lacking when you’re in hospital.
So I am happy to join team Kidult! Let’s try and have as much fun in our life, as possible, it’s too short to not get excited for the Lego store.
ps. side note, I never played Lego as a kid so I didn’t really know the appeal growing up. But Adam got a Lego set for Christmas and now I am hooked, it is so fun to just be creative and imaginative. I totally understand the appeal now! #teamlego
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Awh thank you for the kind words Jen! ❤
I relate with so much you've said in your post. Ade and I have been doing the same! Thinking all about that future!
Based on what you've said you're definitely team Kidult! I was also the same with Lego until I met Ade. He's way more into it, but I do like to do a wee set now and again! So here's to colouring books and Lego building!
Hi to Adam!
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